The Girl Who Should Lie

I was texted a title for some micro-fiction a couple of days ago, but as I worked through my lunch break yesterday, I didn't get a chance to play. This morning my internet wasn't working. I'd probably have watched Pretty Little Liars whilst eating my breakfast if it had been, but the box, should I have opted to reset it, is four floors down. Might as well write, I thought. In my defence, I did spend the whole day at work editing other people's writing yesterday. Sometimes words get a little bobbly and you just want to brush them off you with a clothes brush.

I had a breakfast of rye bread, two boiled eggs and a blood orange, and this is the burst of words that sprang forth.

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The Girl Who Should Lie.

Daria was taught to lie by her brother, Pimm.

                “Lies are right,” said Pimm. “Lies are good for you.” His mouth was crammed with Wheetos, and flecks of chocolate shot across the table on to Daria’s rusks.

                “Mummy will be really pleased with you if you lie, Daria. Okay? You got that?”

                Daria hadn’t been quite sure what a lie was, and so Pimm said he would illustrate it for her. He came at her with his big boy hands outstretched and gave her a Chinese burn so hot it made her cry out. He then yanked a fist full of hair and ate the rest of her rusks.

                “Is everything okay in here?” asked Mummy.

                Pimm was stroking Daria’s head as she quietly snivelled.  

                “She just wants more breakfast,” said Pimm.

                “Do you, darling?” said Mummy. “We don’t want you getting fat like Mummy.”

                “You’re not fat, Mummy,” said Pimm, giving Daria a wink. “You’re thin.”

                “Don’t lie, Pimm,” said Mummy, laughing and giving him a big kiss on the cheek.  She didn’t kiss Daria. So, Pimm was right, then. Lies were good. Lies were rewarded.

“Of course I didn’t break your favourite cup,” said Daria, to Grandma.

                “I did not cheat!” said Daria, to the University.

                “I was often held up as an example,” said Daria, to her first employers.

                “I think Gemma is claiming too much on expenses,” said Daria, to the law firm.

                “The man is guilty beyond any shadow of a doubt, ladies and gentleman,” said Daria to the jury.

                “I would never do that to you,” said Daria to Mike.

               

And then, Daria met Sam – a man she thought was as beautiful and profound as an Oak tree.
                “I love you,” said Daria, wondering why she cried so much these days.

                “I love you too,” said Sam, thinking about filing his tax return.

               

Let’s hope neither of them were lying.

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Anyone remember this song by Chicks? It's in my head now.